Hotdog Fingers?

Youngest is teething. yay. This wouldn't be a horrible thing, usually, but he seems to be teething both his bottom and one of his tops all at the same time. He doesn't sleep for more than an hour, he rubs his face on everything, (which either pokes him in the eye or he headbutts.) he bites EVERYTHING (My shoulders are going to have permanent bruising, and my shirts have shoulder holes) he's clingy, whiny, fever-ey, rash-ey, and all around bitchy. This has run for about a week and will continue to run until his body gives up on fighting these nefarious enameled stabby things, and when the bitches finally pop through.
We tried oragel, but he sorta started choking on his own spit, so we ditched that idea and used the rest of the tube on ourselves. that was kinda fun...
We tried icecubes in cheesecloth, but they melted to fast, and dribbled all over the carpet.
We tried just a cold washcloth, but he wouldn't touch it unless our fingers were inside it. Hubby had the ingenious thought that we could replace our fingers with a hotdog. I made him clean up the mess.
We tried teething toys, but he chewed on one so hard, or twisted it or something, that it cracked and I think the stale distilled water inside kinda put him off any other toy going in his mouth. Which is both a good and bad thing.

So now we just use our fingers, and will bank this in the 'things to embarress youngest with when he's older, and possibly blackmail to get money out of get him to contribute to our retirement fund.'
Also, luckily for us, he's now pulling himself up on everything, so everything goes in his mouth, and although I've been trained once before, hubby has yet to find out that baby-proofing  means 'put every fucking thing you own up higher than 4.21 feet, or else it's fucking garbage or a trip to the E.R.', though I'm sure he'll find out soon enough.

Anyways,
just a small update since I really seem to have shit the bed since the beginning of this year.
yeah