Friday, January 28, 2011

I wonder if house-husbands are anything like house Hippos?

So remember when I said (in sideline) that I offered to switch places with hubby to shut him up, and I would go back to work, and he would stay home?
A big YaY to that coming true.

He's done on the 11th of Feb. and I start back at my jobs(see plural, although, funny enough, I don't have to work as many hours as he does to make the same pay, and I'm in town) on Consumerist Valentine's day, which upon returning home I expect a fucking super romantic and fantastic meal from my newly appointed house-husband. my man-bitch, if you will. (cuz, you know, I was planning on making spaghetti and asking hubby to re-enact lady and the tramp with it, hopefully enraging him to the point that he leave the dinner table couch, therefore leaving me more yummy spaghetti.)

What's even more funny is that I'm excited about this. Hubby must have asked what the right decision would be to me, and if I was sure, and if I was sure I was sure, etc, and on, and on. He made sure he double and triple checked to make sure we could have transition time to get youngest used to daddy-all-day, and wean baby off boob. Not necessarily boob milk, but boob, which actually comes just in time as youngest is cutting three teeth at once, so that would suck.  I don't know why they call it cutting teeth, it would probably be more humane to actually cut the gums and let the teeth come through, cuz right now all I see are teeth through thin layer of gum, a tray of ice cubes being gnawed away every day, and little clam-shaped bruises on my shoulders. But I digress.

So after much discussion and worrying, and a tiny bit of bullshit, my hubby is on his vacation for the next two weeks, and then he takes over the remainder of my parental, which is only going to be for the next three months anyways, but it gives us transition time to find the right amount of hours for me to work to cover that cash.

Ohhh, my poor hubby. I don't think he's quite realized what he's gotten himself into. this will be fun!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

pain.vs. Shut you face

Hubby's just gone back to work on Monday after a week off with a bum knee. Before he went on workers comp, he was ready to quit because, well, the week he hurt his knee also happened to be the week his head went 'Fuck Sleeping!' and since he thinks a man isn't supposed to see a doctor unless it's broken or gushing blood (and even then), he just let his injuries fester until his boss noticed that he was limping and looked like shit. (That's my brave strong man...) Of course he works out of a truck, so his boss didn't get to see him like this until friday when he went to drop off paperwork.
Then he spent this last week at home, bored out of his mind and unable to leave the house, since the injury turned out to be a second degree MCL sprain on his right knee, which is the driving knee. So he spent the whole week rearranging my kitchen, critiqing my mommy skills, rearranging those, writing out new schedules for youngest so that he can get the most out of the day, and then bitching that youngest doesn't like him, because, while youngest is teething, he prefers my shoulders to daddy's to bite, so he's not been really all that cuddly to daddy at all.

 Therefore, I was extremely excited for this past Monday to come, as I would have my house to myself, my kitchen could be put back to order, and my son's schedule put to rights as well. But on Sunday night, I heard murmers and whines of what he had said on the days leading up to his week off, about him hating the company, and wanting to quit, though there were no ways out of it, that he really should just take me up on the offer of transfering the remainder of the parental benifits over to him and having Me go back to work(yes, people I offered to go back to work just to shut him up, because I know within three weeks of us having switched places, he will be begging me to switch back.)

So I sent him a love note on Monday, via video text, with this lovely contraption. I have to say my Efforts were not all that greatly received.

Here's the link if you want to try it out yourself. DRAAAMMAAA!!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Hotdog Fingers?

Youngest is teething. yay. This wouldn't be a horrible thing, usually, but he seems to be teething both his bottom and one of his tops all at the same time. He doesn't sleep for more than an hour, he rubs his face on everything, (which either pokes him in the eye or he headbutts.) he bites EVERYTHING (My shoulders are going to have permanent bruising, and my shirts have shoulder holes) he's clingy, whiny, fever-ey, rash-ey, and all around bitchy. This has run for about a week and will continue to run until his body gives up on fighting these nefarious enameled stabby things, and when the bitches finally pop through.
We tried oragel, but he sorta started choking on his own spit, so we ditched that idea and used the rest of the tube on ourselves. that was kinda fun...
We tried icecubes in cheesecloth, but they melted to fast, and dribbled all over the carpet.
We tried just a cold washcloth, but he wouldn't touch it unless our fingers were inside it. Hubby had the ingenious thought that we could replace our fingers with a hotdog. I made him clean up the mess.
We tried teething toys, but he chewed on one so hard, or twisted it or something, that it cracked and I think the stale distilled water inside kinda put him off any other toy going in his mouth. Which is both a good and bad thing.

So now we just use our fingers, and will bank this in the 'things to embarress youngest with when he's older, and possibly blackmail to get money out of get him to contribute to our retirement fund.'
Also, luckily for us, he's now pulling himself up on everything, so everything goes in his mouth, and although I've been trained once before, hubby has yet to find out that baby-proofing  means 'put every fucking thing you own up higher than 4.21 feet, or else it's fucking garbage or a trip to the E.R.', though I'm sure he'll find out soon enough.

just a small update since I really seem to have shit the bed since the beginning of this year.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Happy National Oatmeal Month! random bits.

So yeah, National Oatmeal month. I subscribe to a lot of recipe websites aand everyone seems to be going bonkers with the 156,783 different ways to make oatmeal, so, yay...

I give winter the Big Dislike when I'm not working. It's never the right temperature in a house you don't leave for three days or more. Right now it's soo cold I'm wearing two sweaters, (though eldest is 'kay in his jammie pants.. crazy person) and when I opened my cupboard to get out a coffee mug, I caught a breeze that sent a shiver through me. Jeez! Even my cupboards are cold!

My hubby possibly is going to have the next week or two off, depending on what the doctors say. He busted his knee up pretty bad on MONDAY! and since then is has gotten more swollen and painful, and while he's a stalwart employee, he's a whiny little bitch at home, and after finally getting caught by his boss almost collapsing, he's being sent to a doctor's today, and might be on worker's comp for a week or two.Hubby has never liked to take advantage of the system, and so didn't really know much about worker's comp until boss filled him in. Hubby is somewhat surprised and excited by this. Me, not so much...  Don't get me wrong, I loves my hubby, but I hates his whining, and for a man who can't even keep his legs still whilst sitting, this isn't going to be so much the relaxing stay-cation he's hoping as it is the torture fest of the 'you have to stay off it and ice it's' that he's going to forget about 5 minutes into his 'recuperation'...

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Oh TV... how could you?

I watch a fair amount more TV now than before I met hubby. Not that I sit on the couch to do so, I can't sit still for that long, but I never had a TV subscription before we moved in together.
There. Good to get That out of the way. Also, be careful whilst reading. This could get fucking Epic. or reaally bitchy...

I like Watching the Biggest Loser. I like it because it's the only reality game show where the contestants, while competing for a big money prize, are really there for their health and their families, and that they build a network of friendships while in there, that has surprisingly spiderwebbed out to all the contestants over the years. A-maz-ing. They even have developed a program that donates food to the needy, and lets people lose weight at the same time. It's become a Power brand in itself.

I also really liked the fact that when two seasons ago there was a red shirted contestant who really wanted the competition, and tried to turn her stay into something surviver-y, and she got promptly kicked out for her bad attitude. Even when the network brought her back as a 'wildcard' player, the contestants promptly threw her out again, and it wasn't in a ganged up on kind of way, she just hadn't changed her thought process away from scheming when she was gone, so she lost the challenges that would have kept her in the house.

I also really admire the trainers, Bob and Jillian. They Are the show, they Are what makes it real. They are there everyday to push these people to success, they actually deal with the underlying issues, the causes for their weight gain, they show them how to fix their diet and make it fun, or painful, as they choose, they help them regain confidence and self-esteem, and basically all around kick-assed-ness. Without them, there would just be a bunch of big people trying to work out in a gym.

This year the Network(NBC) has brought on two new trainers. which normally wouldn't really have been a big deal, just like when you're seeing more of the doctor in these new seasons. A new add in. But. They didn't tell anyone about these new trainers. Not even bob and jill. They don't let you know anything about them other than they are  a man and woman, the man with a degree in I think sports med, and a woman who was in the golden gloves league of boxing. They let the contestants pick whether they wanted to stay at the ranch with Bob And Jillian, or go to a 'secret location' with these two new trainers they know nothing about. The extra bait? If they go to the new trainers, they get 4 weeks of immunity, which is not getting kicked off the show. So all the sudden, these contestants who were all wary and unsure of these training nobodies, were like, 4 free weeks of training? yes. I'll try out the newbies.

I dislike this. They haven't shown many clips of the secret location, but what they do show is a lot of yelling, not really a lot of working on people's heads right from the start, and a lot of trash talk to the ranch team. I also learned that they are going to reveal the mystery trainers next Tuesday. I'm not sure I want them to. I foresee a lot of the contestants who worked with them having a big gain-back when the 4 week free-for all  is over, or their success in the long run minimized or reversed because they haven't had the full package that bob and jill give. Plus, I don't know if they've seen the doctor yet, which is usually a big turning start point in a lot of contestants health changes. I think they should keep the mystery trainers a mystery so that if it doesn't bank well, they can forget about it and move on. Not once in this show, even when the teams are Bob vs. Jillian, has there ever been trash talk and beat downs. It's not permitted. It's negative. Last night the host, Ali something(from days of our lives) repeated a word from the mystery team's trash talk, and Bob lost it on her. It was very re-affirming for the original trainers not to cop into this bullshit.

This last week the home team had a challenge that if they lost more weight as a whole percentage than the mystery team, then No one would get booted off for the week.They also had a mid-week challenge against the mystery team for a three pound advantage. Even though they lost the mid week challenge, horribly, they banded together to do their best to Keep them together. And you know what? They won the weight challenge. By 11 pounds. And I was proud.

But I'm keeping my eye on you, NBPeacock station. I dislike this bullshit 'competition'. It was that before, and more. Don't reduce the show's value by this stupidity. I'm all for changing things up every once in a while, but this is not the way to do it.

p.s. Sorry for the rant, but this really bugs me. TV has taken the only reality show of any redeeming value, and is trying to crush that value out with degradation and stupidity. not cool.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Nanana boo boo, I stick my tongue out atchoo

Any one remember Dawson's Creek? Anyone?

Well, there is n entire website dedicated to James van der what's-his-nuts, and memes of him making facial expressions.

this one's my favorite.

oh yeah, the website. Here.

or just click and paste.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Resolute to resolve yourself. wait. what?

Okay, So 2011 got off to a...... slow... start. Much like 2010 ended. Nothing has changed, and no resolutions come to mind, as whenever I make resolutions, I pretty much fuck them up the first day, which turns into  big downward spiral of self-pity and more doing of the thing I was resoluting not to do. So. I'm not making any resolutions this year, in the hopes that my gym visits will stay frequent, my smoking habit continue to decrease, my healthy eating stays where it is, and my children grow, as they will, with or without my help.

Also, I think I finally convinced my husband that my job makes more money and is more useful than his, so when I get off mat. leave I;m going back to it.

My job: Quasi-Governmental
His Job: Chips.
My Job: Benefits and Pension Plan
His Job: Benefits as long as he doesn't take a distributorship, and if he does, then nothing.
My Job: Starting wage of Awesome, with due increase every whenever, due to union, steady.
His Job: starting wage of blah, with surprising increase of pretty okay with sprinkles of commission every once in a while.
My Job: Bids to get better positions, seniority (even while I'm on mat leave!)
His Job: Sort-of Seniority, depending on whether there's anyone available for the job, or whether the company just decides to hire it out to someone else.
My Job: Gets me out of the house on a daily basis with weekends off, guaranteed
His Job: Gets him out of the city, sometimes for weeks on end, and not always guaranteed weekends off, keeps me locked in our house..

Overall, My job seems to have a bit more appeal. just a bit. So, maybe in april.....sorta exciting!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Shhh, it's quiet time

My quiet time is when my eldest and Hubby are at school and work, respectively, my youngest is asleep, and I'm downstairs sitting on the dryer having a smoke and coffee. There's a little crack in the wall of the basement where the dryer vent goes, and in the winter, and when the dryer is on, it is simultaneously the coldest and hottest place in the house. It's perfect.

So here's my question. Where and when is your quiet time?
few, if any will probably answer this, but whatever. Get it out there if you want.