Friday, December 31, 2010

I'd apologize, but I've been tending to the 'dying'. Also, I live in the same house with the best bunch of actors I've seen since Spartacus.

So here it is, New years is upon us, and I dropped the ball. I meant to get a post in everyday this month, but X-mas came, followed by boxing day, followed by three days of every male member of my family getting fevers and rashes. Although the only whining that was really necessary was perhaps from the baby... These are my excuses. So here I am, exhausted and a little worried about the New Year, full of last minute prep for the house gathering I didn't know I was having until 4 o'clock this morning, barely existing off caffeine and sugar from all the baking that no one ate on x-mas. I'm probably going to ring in the new year by sleeping in my youngest's room while the party goes on around me. Such is the life of a mom I guess...

So I guess when I was talking with hubby I misunderstood him, it being, you know, 4 in the god-damned morning. Apparently the gathering is not here, but at one of hubby's friends house. And we're just to bring one thing for the 'potluck'. I told him I'm not leaving the house with two small children in tow if I'm not sure I'll be able to stay awake to watch them. So I'm going to spend a quiet new years at home with my kiddies, bestest Saskabusch friend and a bottle of wine, and hubby and anyone else is welcome to join us, since I have now made enough party snacks to feed a small army. fuck sakes. guys have no management skills. Dumbass.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

How coffee helped me turn into a Real girl

I started drinking coffee when I was 11.

Along with my two bestest buddies, we'd get together on a regular basis at one or the other of our houses and brew a pot to share throughout the evening. There was always mounds of sugar and truckloads of creamer(powdered at the time-it was the 'in' thing) or milk injected into our cups, and at least a few times we experimented with melted chocolate, caramels, and once, candy corn. That one didn't go well at all, we almost exploded the microwave trying to melt the niblets down and those suckers basically turn into plastic when radiated heated.

The point of these meetings however, was not really the coffee, although it helped some, but to register the fact that we were growing into young women. The coffee was just a fancy sophisticated drink that let us feel ourselves as fancy and sophisticated, we often dressed up( although we weren't going anywhere)to show that we had grown-up tastes that didn't revolve around caffeine levels, and when the parents got sick of our shouting and experimental swearing and we got kicked out of our respective houses and had to find another place to hang out, we found a little Greek hole in the wall and took such pride in ordering our coffees 'black' and sitting in the smoking section like we were responsible and mature young adults.

It makes me laugh still, because that restaurant was forever getting fined from the police for letting minors in the smoking section without adults, and so we constantly had to keep an eye out for cops so we could make a break for it if we had to. It was a bit of a rush to be doing something illegal without actually committing the illegal act, since none of us had started smoking (actually smoking, not just carrying a pack and some matches around, only at school and pretending to inhale so you'd look like The Shit) until a few years after. But we were growing up. We were gossiping, and sharing stories and remember when?'s, although our remembrances were pretty tame at that time, after all, we were only 11/12.

We all met our respective first 'real' boyfriends in that place, broke up with them, cried and bitched over family issues, big or small, learned how to flirt with the waiters (who were much too old and probably thought us crazy when we finally got ballsy enough to slap their arses on the way by) and generally learned how to interact in a close friendship setting. I treasured those years, before bitches and backstabbers, before the hell years of high school and the horror of having to keep a budget, etc.

I'm friends with those girls still, although our coffee dates don't happen as often as we'd like. In fact just the other day, one of those girls and I had a coffee date while picking up our respective random crap in Walmart because, god dammit, that was the only time we had to spare. And that's okay, because it was one of the most enjoyable shopping experiences I've had with my kids in tow.

And it's all to the gratitude of a simple cup of coffee.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Is this the ending of the age of the innocence?

The year I stopped believing in Santa I was 8. or maybe 9. Anyway, sometime during that month, my dad had tried to start a fire in the upstairs fireplace, but the flue was clogged, and we almost got smoked out of the house. Both my sister and I nagged our parents about how Santa was going to get in the house when our fireplace was broken, or if he would skip our house all together. It was a very distressing time.
Well, on Christmas morning, we got up, half-worried there would be nothing under the tree from Santa. When we got to the living room, there was a big white snowy mess from the sliding door to the tree, with boot prints going both ways. I'm pretty sure my sister freaked out for a second, thinking burglars had broke in to steal the remaining presents, until she saw the box from Santa. I was curious as how the snow hadn't melted yet, so I tasted it. It was lemony fresh, and probably a little poisonous. So then I went all CSI on that shit, getting all the shoes and boots from the front door, matching the size to the boot prints in the "snow", looking for trace residue, etc. By the time my parents got up they were completely helpless to defend themselves, as I was firmly aware that Santa Clause was  a ruse. I wasn't unhappy though, and I didn't spoil it for my sister. I became aware that my parents were buying these 'Santa' gifts, and though it took me the better part of a few months to realize it, I became aware that they would keep buying them until they caught on that I knew their naughty secret.

Now my Son is only 6, but he's not quite as gullible as I was then, at least I don't think he is, though he might be...
anyways, even this year I'd become paranoid that whenever we discussed santa with him, he got this little glint to his eyes like he knew something more than I, and he even told me once that the Mall Santas were just people who really like to dress up, but they kept microphones in their costumes so Santa could still hear what everyone wanted. Then he laughed. (I fear he's becoming more like Hubby everyday, telling me something to see my reaction before he says it's bullshit... li'l ol' gullibull me)

So When we went to get Santa pictures with both the kids I was a little curious as to what reaction my eldest would give. Youngest I was well prepared for. Being only 6 months old, he dutifully sat on Santa's lap, until he looked up at the great masses of beard, and then promptly started looking for an escape plan. No tears though. that was nice. Eldest walked silently beside me until we got to Santa's village, and when we got up to the Chair, His eyes lit up, glazed over, and when he sat on Santa's lap, he was almost speechless, which is pretty much fucking impossible in it's own right, and he remained glazed and dazed for the rest of the day. When he went to bed that night, he said to me, 'Santa knows what I want for Christmas mom, so Don't buy it. He'll be mad if he gets a double. '

I needn't have worried so early.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

X-mas things that should be year round

You know it's X-mas when you hear crashing and can yell out 'Cat's got the balls again!' and the reply is 'What Colour?'
My hubby's obsessed with X-mas trees now. Not in the getting of the tree, nor the decorating, nor even the looking at, but at the smell. That natural resiny smell that permeates the entire house, no matter what else in it to stink it up. He now wants to have a pine tree in the house at all times. I don't blame him, My childhood house had these big pine/spruce trees dotted all along our front yard, and lining the fence of the back, and it was like playing in my own personal forest. I used to climb up on the roof in the summer to suntan, and the treetops would be there, wafting their delicate scent over the baking roof. The people who moved in after us cut down all but three of the trees, and cut our apple tree down too. Bastards.

We need to have eggnog in the grocery year round. I know, I know, you can make it yourself, but what homemaking mother with a lonely looking bottle of rum wants to go through the trouble of all that cooking when you can just pay the 3.95 to get liquored on a weekday? And besides, it would bring more Festivity to the rest of the year as well, so Bonus.

Boxing Day should be once a month. That way everyone could go crazy at Walmart for the 30% off on everything that nobody needs.

Gingerbread should be in style year round too. What else am I going to dip in my Happy Mommy Eggnog?

Other than that, everything else can go. I have spoken.

Monday, December 20, 2010

An X-mas Ditty.

In the spirit of Eldest going around the house singing the Twelve days of Christmas non-stop for the last couple of weeks while not really knowing all the words so filling in the blanks with -bags of poop- (believe me it's a treat to hear that 9 out of twelve days his true love gave him poo) I have come up with my own version. But to keep the repetitiveness out of the game, because it's annoying, I'll start with Twelve and work my way down.


"On the Twelfth Day of X-mas my Hubby Gave to me:
-Twelve tries to guess what he got me
-Eleven dirty dishes hidden
-Ten Hours to find a sitter for a
-Nine o' clock X-mas party
-Eight cups of Coffee
-Seven Farmville requests
-Six last minute presents to send out
-Four loads of laundry
-Three unpaid bills
-Two stinky kids


Sunday, December 19, 2010

Teaching the kids sports, or the Retirement Plan.

Eldest went skating for the first time yesterday. Well, the first two times. He and hubby went in search of a rink towing along their refurbished skates and sticks. Both were very excited, and this is the first new thing that Eldest has tried that on the beforehand there was no fear in his eyes, just excitement. They found a rink, and as hubby broke in the 'new' skates, eldest tried his luck on his own. Only when he fell down for the first time, and tears welled up in his eyes, did hubby tell him that skating is mostly about falling down, or not falling down. And as he looked around the rink at the older kids playing hockey or racing games, he saw that they too were in the process of either falling down, or getting someone else to fall down. By the end of their first run, he was so  enthralled, that instead of us going again today, he insisted he take me out after supper yesterday to show me how good he was. So after supper me and my Eldest went to the skating rink, empty this time, and bitter cold and blustery, to have him show me how to skate.
Now I admit, skating has never been my thing, I've always been more into Skiing, so I don't have skates, but I went out on the ice with him anyways, in case he needed hands for balance. So imagine how surprised I was when he out skated me. His second time Ever, and he was already faster than me. Sure, he was running more than skating, but there was some gliding in there, and he had excellent balance. I always thought that if there was anything Eldest excelled at that would pay for my early retirement, it would be in music or drama or writing books or something. But maybe we have a mini Sidney in the making. maybe...

Saturday, December 18, 2010

I thought parvo was for Dogs...

I am perturbed. I have recently come more into the knowledge about children's sicknesses.There are 6 common diseases for a child to catch, that a child will most likely catch before age 10. Apparently they're called diseases now, and not just colds or infections. These 6 diseases are all viral, and most have a fatality rate lower than the common cold. The others we get shots against. All these diseases have a fever, followed by feeling crappy for a while, followed by a breaking of the fever and then 2-3 weeks of a rash that's non-contagious. You basically tell eaach on paart by what the rash looks like.  When I was younger and my Eldest was little, he probably got all of these, but I was much better at dealing with them, since I didn't have the internet and my neurotic Husband to make me all paranoid about the little things.

This year, My youngest Has gotten Sixth's disease, where the fever is high, the baby is a cranky bitch, and then the fever suddenly disappears, and it looks like baby has been rolling in the red ant hill, at least from head to belly.  My oldest is probably going to be infected with Fifths disease, since a letter got sent home from school saying there was an outbreak of it, and eldest always brings home treats for the family. Fifth's disease has a low-grade fever with a general malaise, or feeling icky, followed by a cheek-slap rash, which then moves down to the body. Great. so my child gets quiet and icky feeling, then gets a rash that looks like we beat him? Not to mention fifth's disease is a form of parvo. wait. parvo? Bloody Parvo!!!!!! Parvo isn't even in the spell-check dictionary for fucks sakes.

I can't wait for them to get the other diseases, and be the FIRST FAMILY TO COLLECT ALL 6!!!!!


By the way, here's where I'm getting all my awesome fact knowledge from. Medicine net. I chose it coz it sounded like where my grandparents live, and I always put all factors into account yo.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Tips for the half- awake mom:

1. When making Mac and cheese, Check the label on your soy milk to make sure it's not vanilla flavoured. There is not enough hot sauce in the world to tone that shit down.

2. Turn on the light when making Coffee. Yes, I know you know where everything is, and you're a master at the squinty pour, but when your hubby decides to be helpful by pre-making the pot the night before, it won't go well.

3. Take the Damn Dog to a groomer. He is a 90 pound lab.  He is sooo Not as easy to trim nails on as the cat is.

4.  Turn on the light when putting on your clothes.  come on. Even just a lamp. *sigh* you better be relieved you don't own any thongs. (due to the big butt collapse of 2009, in case any of you actually needed to know that )

5. Dammit, just because you go to the gym now does NOT mean you can reward yourself with cheeseburgers! No! Bad Mommy, that's NO! *face squirt from water bottle* that's a Baad Mommy.

6. Remember the laundry detergent when you do laundry.

7. Remember you did laundry.

8. Please, please, remember to let the dog out at night. He thinks he's a cat if you don't and it just scares Eldest when he has to clean the cat litter tray and he thinks daddy's been sleep-pooping again. (High-fives for the sleep-pooping thing though, wonder if hubby will ever catch on...)

9. Remember to let hubby help around the house, even if you have to reorganize what he did after he leaves the room. He offered to help, it's his funeral.

10. If you stopped drinking what's left in the coffee pot at night, maybe you'd get some actual sleep, and then maybe you wouldn't have to write these stupid tip sheets for yourself, dumb-ass.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

I put it EVERYWHERE! wait. what?

Kay, what is up with Children's Cartoon Writers? seriously. They either have the Disney Complex(see: dirty old men trying to put dirty notes or peni into the background of Disney movies for shits and giggles) or have way to much time on their hands, or even worse, they aren't even aware of what they're doing...

Turned on the  T.V. today to come upon Dora the Explorer's Boots singing about blue balls. really.
I tried to find a vid for it, but all I got were parodies, or parents trying to video it as it plays on t.v.(which doesn't work. really) or people with even more ickies and time on their hands. So here is the closest thing to sane I found to purvey what I came across.


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

We all need men like this, but maybe with less eye make-up...

In keeping with yesterday's theme of X-mas music, here is the only X-mas song I've found that is recent and actually meaningful. Damn you Tim Minchin, for making me all weepy.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Wham! Bam Thank-you maam

So, the Bulgarians have named Wham!'s song Last Christmas the most annoying holiday song ever. I agree.


When I was young we always went to my grandparents for Christmaas, and sincew I was studying the piaano at the time, they had an electric piano they would haul out of the garage every year for me to bugger around on. Now I'm not sure if the new electric pianos have a demo song, I assume they do, since you can't step into the piano section of any music store without some annoying kid pressing all the demo buttons like a drunk at Walmart in the tickle-me-Elmo section. This particular keyboard had Wham!'s song as it's demo, since at the time it had probably just come out and was really popular. I didn't know what it was at the time, since my first big musical memories start around the time Aqua's Barbie Girl came out, so I didn't know how annoying it was to become. I used to push that damned demo button all the time and  pretend I was playing the song every Christmas, and my Gathered Family would all smile ingratiatingly and cheer at my "Skillz". I didn't even know what the song was called until a couple of years ago. But ever since I pulled my Big Girl pants on and moved out, I've hated that song with a passion.

At least I know the Bulgarians have my back if I decide to go all Bat-shite cRazy on George Micheal or that Ridgeley guy.

Monday, December 13, 2010

With lack of anything better to do in my dreams, it seems I'm reverting to my high school self.

I had a dream last night that I was still in high school. or maybe college. Anyways, I was in the music class and we had to sing an x-mas song for the teacher, and the teacher volunteered me to sing the main bit. So Apparently I have been watching too much Sister Act 2 cuz all the sudden we were all singing Joyful Joyful,

*Totally not even an x-mas movie, but Lauren Hill was awesome before she went bat-shite*

 and I sang out the first verse. And it was horrible. In real life I sing, and in dream life I've always been better because I can access ll the little terms and ditties that I can never recall in real life. So you can imagine how bad it was for me to listen to myself in my dream. I could hear every missed cue, every inflection or warble gone horribly wrong, and how deep my voice sounded comparatively. But the other kids in the school didn't notice. They thought it was amazing, so they voted me to sing to some director of the board of Education or something. Maybe the program was going under or something? I don't know. So We started practicing, and it's just like every over-achieving-stressed kids nightmares, when all the students around you are saying 'I'm counting on you', and 'You better not let us down' and shit like that. And then I started mixing up the lyrics. Let me tell you it was Fucking terrifying. And then the big boss guy came in and all the sudden the room was bigger, and there was a stand in the front of the room and I got pulled to one side by the teacher basically telling me to 'Not screw up'. Then I went up and did the same horrible job I did the first time, only it was worse because the room was deadly silent, and every one realized this time round just how bad I was, and then I got pulled out of the room mid song by the big boss and the teacher, and they expelled me right there, and then the kids in the class decided to have a good ol' fashioned torch mob and come after me, and then I woke up.

Moral lesson? Don't eat the white Ferrerro Rochers before bed. They're coconut and white chocolate, and I swear the center has LSD in it, and that's why no one eats them anymore. fuck me.

p.s. I love the rap in this song, it makes absolutely no sense other than it's catering to the 'cool' people. Stay in School y'all.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

False alarm

So apparently when I said we had a virus, it was actually a firewall that had been built by our 22 year old computer genius buddy to keep out viruses. This kid's a little bit weird, but he built our computer from scratch, put all sorts of junk in it to make it run Really fast, with all the newest programs on it. Verry nice.

p.s. the A on my new keyboard sticks so much that when I was writing alarm I had to do it 6 times cuz it kept looking like lrm. aalrm. alrm...... yeh....a........

Saturday, December 11, 2010

New Nephew!

My hubby's sister had their baby on Thursday Night, a nice little baby boy, Easton. My hubby thinks it's funny that they're naming their kid after sports equipment, but I don't think it ever crossed their minds. She had to have a c-section because the baby's heart was slowing down, so she's going to be in there for a few days. Her mom said she booked a special private room in the hospital, but since she had the C, she can't have it because it doesn't have an adjustable bed. I'm not so sure what a special private room would include, mebbe a view that's not of the parking lot or cafeteria.....
Anyways, going to see them all today, although apparently you can't bring kids on the ward unless they belong to the one in the ward, which, whatever...


Friday, December 10, 2010

short, cuz my computers sick

My computer has frozen three times in the process of trying to write this post, and on the last time it froze I shut the computer down, and a grey screen came up for just  second, and all I could make out was a pixelated happy face and the words AWW SNAP!!
I think I have  virus or something.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Not perfect.

I'm following with the theme of showing you people things that I think are important to today's society. Well, maybe not important, per Se, but we all obviously think  about them now and again, and in fact, there's no better way to convey this meaning than in a well-written, extremely well-played comedic Song. Careful though, you might get swept away a little too much by the sheer awesomeness of this to realize all the little jokes written in.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

On the subject of Gifts.

I was recently asked that I chip in for a gift for someone this year. When I replied that I wanted to do something a little more personal, I was told that everyone else was also giving seperate gifts as well, biut they were also chipping in on this, as it was a big-money item. I then asked what else the caller was giving, and they stated that they had thought up the idea for the community present, and since they were paying for the bulk of the gift, that was their gift. right.
From family and friends, but mostly us.
In the upcoming year, my family does have a titch more money than last year, but still feeble comparatively, and I have never felt an obligation to gift someone who expects it. I was told by this person, that it wasn't obligatory, but it was stated in such a manner to make it so. I'm not a fan of The Guilt Trip, and I am not a fan of being prompted or pushed into what to do, what other people think is the right way for me to act. Especially in the act of gift giving. There has always been a social stigma around this, and though I know the family that I talk to is very understanding, and well, acts like Family, I find it hard to believe that just because you're related to someone, that entitles them to trinkets from you at all Holly-days. I don't know what the rules are in cause to this, I don't know why immediate family is entitled to bigger gifts than non-immediate family, I don't know why grandparents need family mementos only, while children need the most impersonal of gadgetry, and I don't know why certain people will gossip over who got who what, and what that means in regards to who likes who better. I myself haave never had to deal with this kind of behavior in my youth, and so find it disturbing that I should reform to their ways now. When I was alone with my eldest, and X-mas came around, or any holly-day for that matter, my son gave me Hugs wrapped in a Blanket, a gift I remember my sister doing sometimes for my parents, and it didn't matter that it was free. What mattered was that they wanted to give. Crude crayola drawings, Toast, and one very crunchy pot of Coffee have been my gifts, aand I couldn't be happier at receiving them. In turn, due to my poorness, I sent out pictures of my son to family, and I know that sounds corny and show-offy and cheap, but when you're from a close family,(and not everyone is that lucky) and you don't live in the same area code any more, it's nice to get news of the family.
So this is what I have to say. Spend whatever you want on gifts, make it as impersonal or personal as you want, choose whatever. But don't do it out of habit or obligation,or expectation of something in return(because sometimes they won't, and they have their reasons) do it because you want to and care.

Wordless Wednesdays #5, X-mas Songs, re-did

In light of me having a pretty slow life, and still writing bout the Zeitgeist of the world, during X-mas no less, Here are a few of Cultures most Favoritest songies.

cuz everyone loves pop songs about latkes!

you know, he has a extremely annoying crap-rap point, but still...

Just cuz I can. Every blog needs more bum.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

On the elderly, fear, and Ice skating

As winter begins to present itself in full force, I\m again reminded of more reasons to be mortally afraid of driving with children.
When the First Snow hits, the drivers in the city remind me of little kids playing hockey, falling down a lot, crashing into each other, and usually forgetting altogether about the puck.
When the first melt comes, everyone becomes stock car racers,  trying to urge all puddles off the road by driving as fast and reckless as they possibly can.
Then the final freeze. When all the slush that's left on the road freezes over, and is made 'luxuriously' smooth by those fast tires.
Now, being where I am, it's pretty common for everyone to know how to ice skate, from a very young age, no less. But somehow all that training goes out the window when tires re applied instead of skates. Our insurance here is gov.t regulated, I think mainly because no other competing company wants to have to cash in on so many claims all at once.
Also, maybe it's the snow, maybe the cold, but a lot of people lose their sight really easily in the winter, eyes glazed past the 'baby on board' and 'student driver' stickers, which are pretty much no good here.
Then there are the types of bad drivers to negotiate with:
We've  got teens with novices licences wanting to joy ride and scare the crap out of everyone they drive beside; or Albertans, who are used to speed limits twice that of ours; or little old ladies who just want to get to bingo in their old school tanks that take up two lanes; or the farmers who only follow dirt road speeds and don't pay any attention to any driving sign,road mark, or light. I could go on, but those four types feature prominently, and for that alone the bus doesn't sound so bad.
But then I'm left with a conundrum on the buses too, since toting around a baby in the heavy-duty stroller that's needed for winter is pretty much banned from the bus, and the price of a bus pass costs more than insuring my car and filling the tank every month, ( though I have a pretty old and crappy car, so that cheapens things up a bit too)  and the buses are usually so cram packed with students and elderly, that there's no room for even me, let alone a baby.  So I'm left to drive on side roads to most of my destinations, waiting until peak traffic has passed, which only leaves about 4 hours in the days to drive, and I'm pretty much screwed in the bad driver department, since you'll never escape the little old lady with the penchant for bingo.  *sigh*

Monday, December 6, 2010

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Eldest's Conditional Training

The family rule has been that no X-mas decorations go up until after mommy's b-day, that way it actually feels like X-mas. This year, since Hubby was out of town, and I was running out of ideas to keep both kiddos simultaneously entertained, and since eldest was all 'X-mas decorations!', and 'We should really get some decorations that we can decorate this year',. and 'When do we get to start making the X-mas Treats?' Usually I like this part too, because I get to go to the dollar store sand grab a whole bunch of crap to put up, and I love baking and giving people sugar overdoses, (especially myself) and mostly because then I get to wander around all the stores that bring tons of X-mas crap in and I can giggle like an idiot at the huge X-mas balls,

 or Santa on a rope,

 or the Rudolph that wiggles his tush at you when you walk by. 
 So this year, the house has already been half festooned with x-mas crap, in an effort to keep kiddo busy.

hehe, hairy x-mas balls...

Also, on a completely different, yet somewhat related topic, Nobody gets that when I start singing "sisters", that it's actually an X-mas song, since it comes from White Christmas, the movie with Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney (before she got the crazies) *sigh* even I know more stupid x-mas trivia than most.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

This is the first day it seems best NOT to have candles on my cake.

As I type this, my youngest is currently typing on his keyboard, not quite copying my movements so much as beating the crap out of the keyboard. Also, he's now learned(from me) that if he says 'UM NOMNOM' in his loudest voice, he will eventually get some type of food. Conditional training. Although whether I'm training him, or whether it's the other way around is uncertain. But nevertheless, learning is being done in this house.

My birthday is today, so I won't type much, but it's early enough that no one else is up yet, so no harm, no foul. I got a wireless keyboard and mouse from eldest, who just couldn't wait any longer, so I got it last night. The A sticks so that any word I've typed with an a in it has had to be corrected, and I can no longer reaach the enter key with my pinky, but they got it so I could hook up the computer to the T.v. and watch movies, especially when they aare both out of the house, and youngest is asleep.

I'm a quarter of a Century old today, and I've been bombarded with requests to go out and party, but since I'm still feeding youngest, it's probably the best excuse not a great idea, and I'm too lazy to pre-make aa days worth of food for my little piglet, so I'm staying home, at least after I get my new tat with my bestest home girlie.

So, bon-voyge, and a verry merry un-birthday to you all!!!!!!!!!!!!

hmm. the 1 button sticks too.

Friday, December 3, 2010

No, I'm sorry, I can't play Pattycake, I'm left handed.

I'm left-handed. Not a big horrible thing, I know, but an imposition no less. I've always had issues with writing, my hand smearing ink and pencil alike, and my words cramped and slanted. But since the Computer got popular in school not too long after I started writing, that was never a Big issue. Even in Grade 4 when my Teacher had lunch-time Calligraphy classes, and she had to spend several hours extra with me because I was the only lefty she had taught other than herself, it was no biggie. It wasn't until I got into baking and cooking that being a leftie started to seem like a horrible thing. You would be amazed the utensils used in cooking that are for the majority, can-openers, pizza cutters, knives, etc. Even when I was stirring, it seemed so much more natural for everyone else than it was for me. I'd try to stir, and my shoulder would go up to my ear, my elbow out, my spoon or spatula getting constantly stuck in some invisible rut that only lefties could feel, while righties were smoothly stirring away, like they were whipping up a cloud. I began to try to do things right-handed, as some of the sports I learned were taught me by a rightie, and so it was easier in some ways, but it was of no use, as I felt like I had cut off some vital limb and was limping through my tasks, watching with tearfull eyes at everyone who glided past. I was teaching a friend to make fudge one time, and even she seemed to note that, while my finished product was amazing, putting it together looked painful. And all the sudden, Writing was important again, and though supremely tasty to clean up, I knew I could never be a cake decorator.
And of course, lefties have been made fun of for forever, from the Internets, to Religions, to bully-kids with nothing better to do( I still have fingers that don't point in the same direction thanks to them), to the Simpsons and South Park alike.
This post, like many others of mine, fails to have a point that I can match up in my brain, since my brain seems to have ADD when making valid points, but I think the gist of this rant was to say that we are all different, we all have things that we do differently. That does not make us bad. Or slow. Or Evil. It just makes us different. And as much as we are all the same, we are all different. So get over it.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Day two, the X-mas Spirit.

My household has always been rather muted during the holly-days, as we're not religious, so have no religious functions to attend, we're rather homey, so have no all-out-drunk fests to go to, and though we try to keep up with the Jones', we don't go through the big trouble of emptying our savings accounts to appease our children and the latest fads, although we don't go all crazy at what others get them. Our children, or at least the oldest one, as our youngest doesn't care about much but pooping, eating, sleeping and attention, knows the value of things, and the value of the hard work it takes to get those things. Of course he's still a bit of an 'I-want-er', as all kids his age are, but he knows better than to freak out his disappointment, he's well on his way to understanding that "Things" aren't important, but people are. That point seems moot in todays society, where you're only as valuable as what you own.  I don't see X-mas as a time to try and best each other with the things we give, nor do I see it as a time to please family members or appease social obligation, I see it as just a chance to get together if you want to, or be alone if you don't, and just relax and enjoy what's been going on the past year. I'm sure I've pissed more than a few people off with my way of thinking, but if I've offended them by not going to their house to praise the labours they've gone through to elevate they're social standings, that's their issue, not mine. Today's society needs to relax around the holiday season, and realize that if they don't get their kid that new x-box, or if they don't go to their neighbour's big dinner, toting praise and bottles of expensive wine, that they are not a failure as a result. That is all. and all-important.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Day One, the explanation.

I've decided to do the Nablopomo challenge again this month, as December's theme is Zeitgeist, or time spirit, meaning writing about the times we live in, and our place in todays culture. Eazy peazy right? we'll see.

Seems I could keep this up for the whole, month, as X-mas is coming up, and I always have loads to say about X-mas.
so here we go!