Wednesday, December 8, 2010

On the subject of Gifts.

I was recently asked that I chip in for a gift for someone this year. When I replied that I wanted to do something a little more personal, I was told that everyone else was also giving seperate gifts as well, biut they were also chipping in on this, as it was a big-money item. I then asked what else the caller was giving, and they stated that they had thought up the idea for the community present, and since they were paying for the bulk of the gift, that was their gift. right.
From family and friends, but mostly us.
In the upcoming year, my family does have a titch more money than last year, but still feeble comparatively, and I have never felt an obligation to gift someone who expects it. I was told by this person, that it wasn't obligatory, but it was stated in such a manner to make it so. I'm not a fan of The Guilt Trip, and I am not a fan of being prompted or pushed into what to do, what other people think is the right way for me to act. Especially in the act of gift giving. There has always been a social stigma around this, and though I know the family that I talk to is very understanding, and well, acts like Family, I find it hard to believe that just because you're related to someone, that entitles them to trinkets from you at all Holly-days. I don't know what the rules are in cause to this, I don't know why immediate family is entitled to bigger gifts than non-immediate family, I don't know why grandparents need family mementos only, while children need the most impersonal of gadgetry, and I don't know why certain people will gossip over who got who what, and what that means in regards to who likes who better. I myself haave never had to deal with this kind of behavior in my youth, and so find it disturbing that I should reform to their ways now. When I was alone with my eldest, and X-mas came around, or any holly-day for that matter, my son gave me Hugs wrapped in a Blanket, a gift I remember my sister doing sometimes for my parents, and it didn't matter that it was free. What mattered was that they wanted to give. Crude crayola drawings, Toast, and one very crunchy pot of Coffee have been my gifts, aand I couldn't be happier at receiving them. In turn, due to my poorness, I sent out pictures of my son to family, and I know that sounds corny and show-offy and cheap, but when you're from a close family,(and not everyone is that lucky) and you don't live in the same area code any more, it's nice to get news of the family.
So this is what I have to say. Spend whatever you want on gifts, make it as impersonal or personal as you want, choose whatever. But don't do it out of habit or obligation,or expectation of something in return(because sometimes they won't, and they have their reasons) do it because you want to and care.

1 comment:

  1. I could not agree more.

    I hate the holidays for just this reason- it's not about love, or caring, or goodwill towards man, or any of that- it's about what I'm gonna get.

    I'm sick to death of it all.

    I try to ask my family to keep gifts to children only, and I still hear whining from my brother who doesn't have any children that he gets cheated. Yes, but he can keep the money he would have spent on the adults!

    My father used to tease us by saying "Christmas is cancelled". Now I know what he meant.