Tuesday, August 24, 2010

This is why people don't see movies with me...

The following conversation took place between 2 pm and 3pm on a Saturday, before the Nickelodeon started their 'Avatar: the Last Airbender' marathon:

M. Night Shyamalan: Okay, we need to make a movie that will restore my reputation! something down and gritty! something that brings the love of movies back into peoples hearts.

Writer: We could do something on the oil spill, and how devastating that's going to be on our planet and generations to come, you know,  how it's going to take at least 50 years to clean the oil up

M. Night: No that'll take to long, I don't have fifty years to make  a movie.

Writer: Okay, how a bout a biopic?

M. Night: On one of the artist world's greatest masters?

Writer: Yes, but I don't know if Cat Stevens is available...

M. Night: No, no, I'm thinking more along the lines of a rock legend. I got it. Aerosmith!

Writer: Hasn't one already been done on them?

M. Night: But we can have a twist by integrating all their songs into the movie, we'll have them acting out their songs too, so it'll be like their lives really did revolve around those lyrics!

Writer: But that's not a biopic, that's more along the lines of what they did with all those Beatles songs, you know, how they made it into a musical? what was it called... across the planets or something

M. Night: And we can even use a song title as the title of our movie, you know, a little director's humour

Writer: Not really sir..

M. Night : Devil in an elevator!

Writer: Ummm, that's Love in an Elevator, sir...

M. Night: We should make the movie based on that song, you know, 'I kinda hope we get stuck, and no one comes out alive"

Writer: I don't think that one line is what the song is all about...

M. Night: Oooohh, and we could get Steven Tyler to play the devil, he's got such a sixth sense for artistry, I bet he'd be really good, and then the movie can be based on the song, but people won't know it unless they look for the signs. 'I'll show you how to axe the new mail boy then I'll hack you up  inside'

Writer: Umm it's actually..... oh never mind...

M. Night: oh this is going to be soo exciting! and then those stupid journalists won't be laughing anymore, no, just because I wanted to recreate my favorite TV show, and they laughed at me, those mean little-

Writer: I just called Steven Tyler, he says he doesn't want to be in your crappy movie, and if you use that title, he'll sue you.

M. Night: Oh. That's unfortunate. Oh well, we'll just call it Devil, with one of those cool symbols for the V right? And we can still keep the story the same, just replace Steven Tyler some nobody, it'll be a happening, like I created a Star! Like remember how I made Paul Giamatti a star?

Writer: *sigh* He was a better actor before he knew you... I quit.

No comments:

Post a Comment